May I Say I Loved You More
by BlueSuedeShoes
Summary: For cara410: songfic "One Man Drinking Game" by Mayday Parade; Warning: sad ending


_And you said it would be funny to keep me hanging in suspense_

_Then I'd run over to your house and I'd scale the chainlink fence_

_That borders your back yard and then I'd climb through your window_

_And I'd whisper that I love you as you fall out of your clothes_

"You can't possibly love me more. Of the two of us, I am clearly the more loving person." He cocked an eyebrow, and Chloe laughed at the look on his face in response to her convoluted logic.

"How do you figure that?" he asked, sliding his hands gently over her stomach beneath her blouse. She might be determined to keep the mood light, but all he could think about was that this might be their last night. All he wanted was to cherish every inch of her body.

Chloe shuddered at his light touch. "Well I'm the one who has to put up with you, aren't I?"

Oliver laughed and pressed a kiss to her lips to silence her. Feeling his seriousness, Chloe pulled away slightly and kissed his cheek. "It's going to be okay, you know."

He wanted to ask what made her so sure. They were practically walking to their deaths the following morning, and yet she was so convinced they would be just fine. "I know," he said instead, loosening the buttons on her blouse one by one.

"Good. You know what's going to happen?" she asked while he kissed her neck and eventually pushed her blouse over her shoulders. "You're going to get so caught up being a badass hero that you're going to lose track of me. And then when it's all over and we've won, you're going to have this one moment of overdramatic panic before you realize I'm okay, at which point, instead of using the door like normal people, you're going to end up scaling the wall of Watchtower just to scare the life out of me, but I won't have time to get mad at you for it because we'll be too busy doing--" she gasped lightly as he pushed her bra aside, "this. And then I'm going to laugh at how worried you were."

And he'd grinned as he pressed a kiss to her stomach, hands caressing her.

_And we'd lay there in the darkness like this dream of you I had_

_Where we captured all the fireflies and knew what time we had_

_Could be counted on our fingertips and that almost made you cry_

_you let me hold you tightly as we said all our goodbyes_

Oliver still remembered lying with her in his arms, holding her to his chest, staring at the ceiling long after she'd fallen asleep. He'd stroked her hair tenderly, wrapping the curls around his finger before releasing them one at a time. Her face had looked so peaceful while she slept, so calm and so assured that everything would turn out the way she was planning on it.

A cloud moved away from the moon, allowing light to shine into the room, and then he had noticed it. The tear stain on her face, glistening in moon light. Perhaps she wasn't so confident as she claimed. He'd wiped the tear away with his thumb, and tightened his arm around her, unwittingly waking her.

"I'm sorry," he'd whispered when she looked up at him. "Go back to sleep." His hand rubbed soothingly over her lower back, trying to lull her back to sleep, but she only pushed herself up his body to press a kiss to his cheek.

"What is it?"

He'd smiled softly. "I was just dreaming about you, but then I remembered that the real version was better, so I woke myself up."

_May I say I loved you more_

_May I say I loved you more_

And she'd rolled her eyes at his sentimentality, snuggling into him, nuzzling his neck. She'd sighed so softly. "I love you," she'd said in a whisper so tired he'd barely heard it.

"I love you more," he'd whispered back, his lips brushing against her ear.

"Mmm..." she'd breathed sleepily, "that's what you think."

_And it must have been and hour that I clutched you in my arms_

_And I must have said the right things because you instantly felt warm_

_And you heard my heart stop beating and you wanted not to cry_

_As your sympathetic whispers, they told a tale of bad goodbyes_

Even now as he drowned himself in whiskey, he could still feel her in his arms, still hear her whisper those same words all over again twelve hours later as he'd clutched her desperately. He remembered the sobs wracking his body and the strange smile on her face, knowing that he was safe, that it was over, and they'd won.

They'd won. That's what she'd said. She called that winning. Losing her was not winning, he thought, grimacing as burning liquid slid down his throat.

"I love you," she'd said, struggling for breath.

He'd barely been able to sob the words as he crushed her to his chest, rocking her. "I love you more."

"That's--that's what you think." And he'd felt it, felt her body go limp, felt her life leave her as he held her. He'd never felt more cold in his life.

"No," he'd whispered. "No. Please, no. Come back." She couldn't leave him. She just couldn't. He needed her. Why did it have to be her?

_And you swore you saw me laughing and I swore I saw you smile_

_And this time we've spent together is meant to last us quite a while_

_As I take this piece of you with me, I'll carry to my grave_

_Knowing that for someone you're an angel sent to save_

He'd stopped sleeping at night, unable to handle seeing her in his dreams. In his dreams she laughed and smiled at him, kissed him like nothing had happened, like she'd been there all along. Sometimes she was dressed in white clothes too blinding to look at, like she was an angel. And then he'd wake in a cold sweat, ready to stab himself in the heart to ease the pain.

_(Keep breathing my angel, if you go down I go with you)_

_May I say I loved you more_

_(Keep breathing, just keep breathing)_

_(Keep breathing my angel, if you go down I go with you)_

_May I say I loved you more_

_(Keep breathing, just keep breathing)_

He slammed his glass down on the counter, signaling for the barkeep to fill it up. He'd made a point of getting as lost as possible. He wasn't even sure what city he was in anymore, and that was the way he wanted it. If even he didn't no where he was, then no one else could find him. He could kill himself in peace. He wouldn't live without her. He refused.

I love you.

I love you more.

That's what you think.

No. Please, no. Come back.

_So let's drink to memories we shared_

_Down one for all the hopes and cares_

_Here's two for being unaware that you're gone_

_Because before too long you'll be a memory_

He downed another glass, having lost count. The bartender looked ready to say something before Oliver waved several bills in his face to shut him up.

"Who is she?" the barkeep asked, filling up his glass.

"Who?" he muttered drunkenly.

"The girl who drove you here, man."

Oliver said nothing, but raised his glass in a toast. "A girl worth drinking to for the rest of my life." However short he hoped that might be.

_So let's drink to memories we shared_

_(Because before too long you'll be a memory)_

_Down one for all the hopes and cares_

_(Because before too long you'll be a memory)_

_Here's two for being unaware that you're gone_

_(I said before too long you'll be a memory)_

_I said before too long you'll be..._

**Author's Comment: Well, I've never been one for songfics, so I don't know how this stood up, but I really liked the song. Here's the prompt:**

"**One Man Drinking Games - Mayday Parade**

**They know they've only got one more night to spend together. They make the most out of it and then she dies and he drowns his sorrow in alcohol."**


End file.
